Parents always hope their children pick up good habits and values from them, but sometimes children unknowingly adopt behaviors that might negatively affect their emotional growth. Parenting coach Pushpa Sharma recently highlighted two such habits that daughters often learn from their mothers. One of these habits involves hiding their pain behind a smile. This article explores these habits and their impact on daughters’ lives.
Trying to Please Everyone
According to Pushpa Sharma, a parenting coach and NLP practitioner, teenage daughters quickly pick up two particular habits from their mothers. The first is the tendency to try to make everyone happy. When mothers prioritize others’ needs before their own, saying things like “I’ll do it after everyone else,” daughters learn to seek others’ approval over meeting their own needs.
This habit can lead daughters to consistently suppress their own desires in favor of others, which may cause emotional strain over time. The drive to keep everyone content often comes at the cost of their own well-being, setting a challenging precedent for future relationships and self-worth.
Suppressing Feelings Instead of Expressing Them
The second habit relates to not expressing feelings openly. Mothers often avoid sharing their hurt or anger directly, choosing phrases such as “let it go” or “I don’t want to say anything.” Sometimes, they say things that imply neglect, like “You all don’t care about me.” This teaches daughters to emotionally shut down rather than communicate their feelings healthily.
As a result, teenage daughters may struggle to articulate when they are upset or angry, which can lead to bottled-up emotions and difficulties in managing relationships or seeking support. The normalized emotional shutdown might also impact their mental health and emotional resilience.
Understanding Mothers Don’t Need to be Perfect
It’s important to clarify that mothers aren’t expected to be flawless. They are human and have the right to feel hurt or vulnerable. However, when mothers criticize themselves openly in front of their daughters, it can cause confusion. Pushpa Sharma advises mothers to consider how they would feel if their daughters spoke about themselves in similarly negative terms.
This reflection can help mothers be more mindful about how self-criticism affects their daughters’ perceptions of self-worth and encourage a healthier model of self-respect and empathy.
Encouraging Healthy Self-Respect
Daughters don’t need perfect mothers; they need mothers who respect themselves and express their feelings in healthy ways. Demonstrating self-respect and emotional honesty teaches daughters to adopt similar behaviors, benefiting their mental and emotional development.
Building this environment allows daughters to grow confident in their own emotions and needs, fostering better communication skills and emotional intelligence that will carry into adulthood.
In conclusion, the unconscious habits daughters learn from their mothers play a significant role in shaping their emotional health. Recognizing and addressing these patterns can help both mothers and daughters develop healthier relationships and improve emotional well-being.
